Track Twenty-Six: You Don’t Own Me

“Do you think she likes me?”
“No, I mean… Do you think she likes me?”

Milly glanced up at him. “There’s only really one way to find out, isn’t there?”

He looked taken aback, nearly offended. “I couldn’t ask her that.”

“Well, suit yourself, but I’m pretty sure the next guy won’t think the same and will ask her. And then where will that leave you, do you think?”

He sat moodily as his friend tapped away on her laptop. The report wasn’t due until that evening, and she was nearly done, but even then she was having a hard time concentrating on the issue at hand. Milly naturally felt sorry for only giving him half her attention, but he’d been moping around the matter for so long, even she was starting to tire. And yet, she knew that if Lelouch vi Britannia was really acting like this – was really allowing for his emotions to get the better of him – then maybe she should take this little “crush” a tad more seriously than she was.

With a sigh, she glanced up to find him slumped in his chair as he dramatically covered his face with a hand.

“You got that little treasure for her, didn’t you?” She nodded at the brace on his wrist. He pulled his arm away and cradled his hand as if doing so would hide the embarrassing memory. “And, you know, she stayed with you at the hospital the entire time even though it was just a little fracture. And even I didn’t do that.”

“She was probably just trying to be a good friend,” he muttered. Milly couldn’t help but snort.
“Right. Because that’s C.C.’s style, right? Be really nice to everyone for no good reason?” Milly shook her head. Was he really so determined to blind himself from the truth? Setting her laptop on her desk, she crossed her arms as the toe of her shoe bumped his shin.

“Why couldn’t she be in love with you? Why couldn’t she love you like you love her? Why not?”

He studied his brace. He normally did all that he could to avoid involvement of any kind in any situation – he much preferred to isolate himself and observe – but that night when Alex had forced himself on her after claiming that he had earned her attention and affection, though Lelouch didn’t really have any business to interfere in the affairs of her and her friend, he had anyway, which had given him a fractured wrist and had heavily bruised his pride.

He thought back to when he had been sitting in the ER as they waited for the nurse to officially end their visit. She had been sitting there next to him on the bed, her legs swinging gently, as she had leaned on him. They hadn’t really said much, but it had been such an intimate moment, if they had said something, it could have ruined the moment. She had held his braced hand as their fingers grazed one another, and as they sat there together, the world had just…slowed down.

It had been one of his most fondest memories. Everything had been so perfect and had felt so incredibly right. But that had just been what he had feeling; it would be wrong to jump to conclusions and assume that she had felt the same way. For all he knew, she could have been sitting there, bored out of her mind as she tried to think of ways to leave the ER without upsetting him.

And yet, even as he said this to himself, he couldn’t help but feel that he was wrong and that she had in fact felt the same feelings he had that night. As they’d taken the train back home in the early morning, she’d been nodding off, when he had offered her his shoulder. Her silence had embarrassed him and he had taken the next most natural course of action – which was retracting his offer – when he felt a comfortable weight on his right side and he looked to see her nestled against him.

He loved her so much, it hurt to be with her because he knew that there was always the other guy waiting in the wings, that she would be gone the moment he whistled for her, and it sickened him to his stomach that he had so much power over her will. She was too good for Alex Sharpe. She was too good even for himself, but above all else, Sharpe didn’t deserve to even be in the same room as her, much less control her and use her like that.

“She really likes you, you know. Like a lot.”
“She likes you a lot too, Milly. That doesn’t mean anything,” he replied glumly. She impatiently threw her hands up into the air. 

“Well, that’s not what I meant, but if you really doubt me so much, why don’t you ask her? C.C.’s honest, and she’s pretty ballsy.”
“There’s no way she would tell me.”

He struggled for an answer. His childhood friend sighed.

“Well, it’s up to you ultimately, but I’m putting my money on ‘yes.’ And that’s really all I’m going to say about that because this paper is due tonight.”

He was dismayed to see her leave but did nothing to stop her. School came first.

School always came first. Even before the girl of your dreams.


One Comment Add yours

  1. Sean O'Brien says:

    I half expected him to use the phrase like-like when asking Milly that for some reason. It’s sort of hilarious seeing him balk so hard when told to just up and tell her. I suppose I can see why he might be so hesitant since that’s never easy to do especially given how odd their relationship has been. Milly’s right though that there are lots of guys who would very much want to snatch her up since why wouldn’t you? Can’t blame Milly either for perhaps tiring of all his moping, but it’s also good she fully recognizes just how serious Lelouch is taking this. Still, the dramatics are kind of funny.

    It does sort of sound when he denies what C.C.’s done as just being a friend, that there might be a bit of denial. Or perhaps fear of hoping she might feel the same, but that you could be wrong and face that disappointment. And Milly makes an excellent point about it all so it’s certainly worth a shot. But geez, I can only imagine he was seeing red when he went to C.C.’s defense when Alex tried to pull that on her. But really, the moment he describes in the ER sounds incredibly affectionate to the point of being a firm display of love. I imagine the voice in his head dismissing it all is like the one he seems to have concerning his whole deal with his family.

    That image of her sleeping against him is such a sweet one. The way their relationship had been certainly is a tough one since it’s one thing to pine after a friend and quite another to have done some of the stuff they did and then still have her go off to be with some other guy whenever he desired. I’m glad he gets over it and just goes and asks her. I imagine Milly was grateful they’d finally just gotten to it after all the dancing around.

    Thank you 🙂


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