my worst fear

My worst fear is that ten, fifteen years from now, I’ll be in the office, working, and I’ll get up with my papers for the meeting with the consultants and when I walk into the conference room, you’ll be sitting there, looking a little older, a little worse for the wear, but all the reasons…

December 3, 2017 | 7:13PM

Part of me can’t wait to go to varsity. Not because I’m excited to be on varsity – in actuality, it makes me quite scared – but the mere thought of being separated from you – of being able to put more space between you and I – the opportunity to kill my feelings for…

November 30, 2017 | 12:54AM

A: One (of many reasons) why I refused to allow my feelings to develop was that I didn’t feel that I was good enough for you in the way that I’ve gone through some shit and haven’t really come out of it for the better. I have lots of emotional baggage, lots of cracks and…

November 30, 2017 | 12:24AM

A: …You’re horrible with all of your teasing. I mean to say that, I wish you wouldn’t joke and tease me like that; wouldn’t smile and laugh and nudge me playfully like you did yesterday. I’m trying my best to clean up and neatly package away my feelings for you. They’re complicated as fuck already;…

November 29, 2017

These days I keep thinking about if I’d never met you. If I hadn’t joined – but I’m sure there’d have been some other person. If not you, then him, or him, or him. So in the end, you don’t mean very much, do you? No, I suppose not.

0.5

As he stood there and studied her, he decided she was cute but, unfortunately, not cute enough. He liked her, but not enough to really bother with consideration. She was funny, but not funny enough to intrigue him, and this conclusion, as sad as it may be, relieved him. It had been a thorn in…

Coming Soon

“So, how are this year’s pickings?” “Fine.” “Just fine?” “Well, you know,” he shrugged. “Novices are novices. We actually dropped 5 rowers last week, but it was a long way coming.” “So what does that bring you to? 14?” “15.” “So one short of 2 8’s. Damn. Looks like you’ve got your work cut out…

thirteen

It was nearly 2 in the morning when Suzaku was able to find some time with the birthday boy. Finding him in the backyard, he handed him a glass of his own before taking a seat beside him in front of the fire pit. “…What happened?” he finally asked. Biting back the instinct to pull…

twelve

“I can’t. It’s his birthday on Friday.” “So what?” “What do you mean so what? It’s his birthday. He wants me there, so I can’t.” “He actually wants you there, or you want to be there so you volunteered?” Frowning, C.C. set the lingerie down onto the pile of silks and satins. Crossing her arms,…

holes

My mother told me that if I study hard today, if I work hard today, then tomorrow, I’ll be able to enjoy life. If I suffer through the next 7 years and work my ass off, foregoing any pleasure or amusement, the thirty, forty years thereafter will be worth it because that’ll be when I’ll…

yesterday

I realized yesterday that the reason I don’t sleep – beyond that of insomnia – and the reason why I don’t eat properly is because in a sense, it’s a way to cut myself but in a fashion that isn’t obvious and possibly, arguably even worse because if taken to the extreme, I may very…